Did you know that Tim Duncan published a scientific work while he was a student at Wake Forest University?

Yes yes, here it is:

Did Timmy write this chapter with specific NBA players on his mind? I definitely can think of some to fit the title…

Timothy Duncan!!!

Let that sink in for a moment.

Now, Timmy majored in Psychology, which puts him alongside Natalie Portman and Daniel Kahneman as my favorite colleagues of all-time. He also took classes in Anthropology, while I myself had a second major in Sociology and Anthropology. There can be no doubt, Timmy is my brother from another mother.

A few months ago I actually borrowed from our university library this book in which Timmy co-authored this chapter, and read Timmy’s contribution to the psychology world. I admit, I didn’t find it too interesting, but I guess that it was because it’s really not my field of study. It was fun imagining, as I was reading it, how Timmy actually contriburted to it: Did he look through the library at Wake Forest University for relevant papers to mention? Walked over to librarians and stuff, with his 6`11? Did he actually print it on his computer? Damn, I wish I was there to witness it.

Anyway, while Timmy is already a published author, I myself have yet to publish anything of value. My first paper was recently rejected after a round of review, and so I wait for my second attempt. However, my main aim in publishing a paper is no longer to obtain a reference in PsychNet or Web Of Science, to make my supervisor happy or to improve my chances of obtaining a teaching job at a university after I finish my PhD.

No, my aim is to obtain a “Duncan Number”. What’s a Duncan Number, you ask? Well, it’s like an “Erdos Number”, only waaaaay cooler because it refers to Tim Fucking Duncan! I already know my potential “Erdos Number” if I publish a paper – it will be 5. However, who gives a damn about “Erdos Numbers” when you can have a “Duncan Number”! I still didn’t calculate my potential “Duncan Number”, but no matter what it will be – 5 or 8, I know that now I can die in peace.

Michael, I find your lack of published papers very dissapointing.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!